Skip to content

The Laowai

Never go with a hippie to a second location.

Its been almost a month since JCPenney (NYSE: JCP) announced its re-branding and repositioning with the hopes of becoming “America’s Favorite Store.”  The announcement came in the form of a presentation from CEO Ron Johnson entitled “In Praise of Fresh Air,” which touted a new pricing strategy, new promotional methods, and a rearranged store layout.  Add to this a promise of $900M in expense cuts over two years and the market was sold (or bought, when you think about it…).  The stock increased 17% on huge volume on the day of the announcement (January 26th) and has held steady ever since.  With all this hoopla and “re-focusing on the customer experience,” I decided that I had to check it out for myself.

Prior to the re-branding, JCPenney was something of a blight.  It was the type of place I would go to be ironic.  Perhaps I would buy an Orange Julius and play some skee-ball at the creepy arcade before I went into the store to look at the ugly merchandise.  My girlfriend, who is now a senior in college (and right in the cross-hairs of the new strategy), described JCPenney as the type of place she would expect to see cheap prom dresses and mismatched earrings attached to plastic backing.

I have to say that when I did make it into the store I did not have the immediate feeling of panic wash over me, as it did in the old layout. It was a bit like walking into a Nordstrom (NYSE: JWN), where there are no “hoarders-esque” goat trails through merchandise and everything is below eye level.  It did, in fact, feel fresh.  The new color coded pricing strategy was everywhere, but was a tad confusing because not every item was correctly labeled.  Red indicates monthly promotional sales, White is “everyday savings”, and Blue is essentially clearance prices (“clearance” is a apparently a no-no word, as indicated by the whisper coming from the sales clerk when I asked her what blue means).  Clear enough… but I found white labels to be under a blue sign, and pink (?) labels under a white sign.  Also, on the tag, the price is color highlighted in the corresponding sale.  Why not color the entire tag to eliminate confusion and make it easily noticeable from across the store?

So layout is great, pricing strategy is promising; but upon close inspection, I came to the realization that JCPenney is still pushing the same assortment of ugly clothes and cheap jewelry.  It’s the classic example of putting lipstick on a pig, and it’s a shame because all of this publicity they are driving from the re-branding is going to be lost when the curious fail to return upon coming to the same realization I did.  There were a few bright spots in the form of exclusive lines from designers looking to follow in the path of Target (NYSE: TGT) and H&M and create affordable pieces.  I think building this concept out will really help people see JCPenney in a new light, but again, I am surprised this was not done before the store rearrangement.

So where, exactly, does JCPenney fit in the retail space?  They are not going after Nordstrom as they are in a completely different echelon of price point.  People keep talking about Target, but I think Target is completely different as well because they are a big-box store, whereas JCPenney is a department store.  Where Target succeeded is not that they provide good design at a good price, it’s that they provided it in a conveniently accessible place that people do not have to go out of their way to find.  With JCPenney, you have to deal with a mall, and all the requisite headaches.  I think the most likely model, then, is that of the internationally expanding chains like Zara (traded in Madrid), H&M (traded in Sweden), and Uniqlo (traded in Tokyo).  These low-cost, high-fashion department stores are relatively unheard of in the US, and JCPenney has some real competition as these rapidly growing stores make their way onto our shores.

JCPenney CEO Ron Johnson worked wonders at Apple with the retail stores (as VP of retail operations, his job prior to JCP), but remember he was working with Apple Products.  A great analogy is to look at the Windows store.  Microsoft copied the Apple store layout exactly, but (in a Babu Bhatt accent) “Where are the people, show me the people.”  I would consider buying once JCPenney shows that they have great merchandise AND a great layout, but until then I am wary of the hype of the current stock price.

Tags: ,

I was just messing around in the kitchen this evening and made a surprisingly interesting cocktail.  So I thought I would share it.  It’s a bit of an elaboration on the classic “hanky-panky cocktail” but with a little extra.  There is no citrus in this one and it is all booze, so it is stirred, as opposed to shaken.  Also, I switched over to cocktail coupes, instead of classic martini glasses.  I look high and low to find these things but ultimately found them at Sur La Table, (which always makes me laugh thanks to South Park).

I am calling it the Oddfellow, just because I had no idea the ingredients would actually work as well together as they did.

3/4 oz. Sweet Vermouth

3/4 oz. Old Liquor Store Green Tea Liqueur

1/2 oz. Fernet Branca

2 eyedropper vials Orange Blossom Water (found in spice aisle of decent grocery stores)

2 oz. London Dry Gin

Stir and garnish with orange peel.

 

The Green Tea liqueur is a little minty and goes nicely with the Fernet but adds a little sweetness.  The orange blossom water is faint but adds a great floral undertone, and the vermouth provides a nice bridge between the biting gin and bitter Fernet (AKA the Hanky Panky).

 

Tags: , , ,

I’ve been working a lot lately on my graduate applications.  One of which is for a program called the Brandcenter, and the app is very writing intensive… so I thought I’d post a snippet of it here:

I applied to the University of Colorado and committed to attending without ever seeing the town in which it resides.  Before living there, I was under the impression that Denver/Boulder was high up in the mountains, pretty much a ski area with switchback roads and gondolas everywhere.  This isn’t quite the case.  Denver and Boulder might as well be Kansas.  There happens to be a whole bunch of mountains nearby, but if you have some type of strange medical condition that prevents you from ever looking West, you’d never know it.  Another quick beef I have with Denver/Boulder is I don’t quite understand how it got this reputation of being a skier’s paradise.  Sure you are close to skiing… but it still takes two and a half hours to get to it.  Can’t you pretty much drive two and half hours outside of any city and be close to a ski resort?

Boulder shaped me in several ways.  Where before I moved there, I considered myself an outdoorsy person (I am an Eagle Scout after all), now I loathe outdoorsy people.  Where before I considered myself a dog person, now I cannot stand dog people.  Boulder is chock full of people who don’t just like to go on hikes from time to time; they buy wind-resistant Everest climbing pants, special sun blocking hiking glasses used on the most recent Kilamanjaro expedition, and bumper stickers that say things like “I’m a really good hiker and you’re not.”

In Boulder, like Scottsdale, it’s very much a culture of “keeping up with the Jonses.”  But in Boulder, it’s more like “keeping up with the Rosenberg-Wellsmith-Running Bears.”  I’ve never been in a place where the people try so hard to make you think they are really truly happy.   It’s a world of forced relaxation where you can sense an inner emotional collapse bubbling up under every huge smile and utterance of the phrase “No Worries.”

Living in Boulder for so long nurtured an independence that few other cities could have cultivated.  It has made me more comfortable in myself, and showed me the danger of identifying too closely with any one thing, whether it is rock climbing, cycling, or a Subaru Outback.

Tags: ,

My favorite cocktail, without a doubt, is the Aviation.  I especially love them when I am in Arizona, as I am now, because I have a lemon tree… and I pluck that thing mercilessly.  Why do you love Aviations in Arizona, you ask?  That was a really poorly written sentence, but rather than fix it I thought it would be more clever to just describe its awfulness in a subsequent sentence, as I am doing now.  Anyway, an Aviation is very simple, yet you can’t just head on over to 7-11 and pick up the ingredients like a chump.  The aviation makes you work.

When I first got all the ingredients for my home bar (thanks honey), I made the rookie mistake of going equal parts on everything.  Sure, this might be fundamental to a pro but not me.  I quickly realized that higher proportions of gin the better… The recipe:

 

 

3 oz. Beefeater Gin (Or Hendrick’s for a more floral twist, but Beefeater is classic)

3/4 oz. Creme de Violette

3/4 oz. Luxardo Maraschino Liqueur

Half a fresh squeezed lemon

Shaken well to add ice and water and served up

 

 

 

A lot of recipes call for simple syrup.  I say “pish posh” sweet drinks are for occupy wall streeters and they give you a headache anyway.  Also a real aviation absolutely has to have Creme de Violette, as without it you cannot achieve the beautiful color seen in the picture here.    It should be faintly blue, like the color of the sky (hence the term aviation).  If it is too purple it is likely too sweet, and if it is clear then your bartender didn’t do the extra leg work to search out the somewhat hard to find Creme de Violette… and if your bartender is lazy in procuring the proper ingredients, he is most likely lazy in other things.  Like cleaning your glass.  The same glass that all those other dirty people fondled with their mouths.  Just sayin’.

 

 

 Wow.  Brings a tear to your eye, don’t it?

 

Tags: , ,

Well I bottled up the pine bitters… and unfortunately I’ve yet to find out what to do with them.  The other day I thought I’d try gin, a few hefty splashes of pine bitters, and some fresh squeezed orange juice.  I guess I thought the orange’s sweetness wouldn’t outdo everything else… I was wrong.  Boy howdy it was bad.  Back to the drawing board on that.

One tried and true pine-y recipe though, was concocted the other evening out of:

2 oz. Right Brothers (peppery) Gin

1 oz. Zirbenz Stone Pine Liqueur

1 oz. Fernet Branca

Dash of mango bitters

Shaken, served up.

The mango bitters sounds weird but it worked out, and it was extremely subtle.  It was very dry, and very much an acquired taste… but to me the spicy gin was miraculous with the minty Fernet and pine-y Zirbenz.  Put my home concoction to shame.

Tags: ,

Oh man, this is the big one.  Facebook is going public.  If you can get in on this it will be just like that one episode of Family Matters when Carl Winslow goes back in time to buy Microsoft.  That’s kind of an obscure reference, sorry, but you get the idea.  Facebook is experiencing every real investor’s worst nightmare: hype.  Hype is bad, irrational, and most of all, it’s fleeting.  The $100 Billion valuation is huge, of course, and how much of it is hype?  How much is actual value?

Facebook’s value is in its 845 million monthly active users.  They have us, but how can they extract our money?  So far, according to the S-1, their best guess is advertising.  This is the source of about 85% of their revenue.  I, personally, have never clicked on a Facebook ad.  An informal poll of other twenty-somethings agreed that they, like me, avoid clicking on ads like the plague.  I can recount many times when I have told my parents to NOT click on something specifically because it is an ad, and therefore unreliable.  Not surprisingly, Click Through Rates (CTR) by demographic are pretty tough to find.  One study, published in August 2011 by SocialCode, a Washington DC based social media agency, found that Facebook users aged 50+ were 28.2% more likely to click on an ad.  Another study, by WebTrends in January of 2011, discovered that users who had not attended college were almost twice as likely to click on ads than those that did.

What can be gleaned from this? The boomers are dying out and the unsavvy (this is a big, perhaps unfair assumption, but I think most can agree that those who did not go to college are, on the whole, less internet savvy) will become savvier.  With such a huge market penetration already, the low hanging fruit of more warm bodies has already been picked.

Anyway, of the ads that are actually clicked on, Facebook’s CTR (as of 2010, the latest reported by the January 2011 WebTrends study) is half of the industry average , .051% vs. .1%.  This has actually declined, from .063% in 2009.  While the CTR declined, the Cost per Click (CPC) actually increased, from $.27 to $.49.  Comparatively, Google (NASDAQ: GOOG) is even more dependent on advertising, at 97% of revenue, with AdWords making up the bulk of that.  AdWords has an average CTR of 2%, with a CPC of $1.24.  Google shares currently trade at around 20 times 2011 net income, and the $100 Billion Facebook valuation would imply 100 times net income.

A little spendy, no?

Tags: , ,

I’ve been making a westward migration over the last few days, from Washington to Arizona, with a stopover in Boulder, where I currently am.  Boulder happens to be the site of one of my favorite bars in the country, and I always stop in when I am here.  It is here, the Bitter Bar, where I was first introduced to good cocktails, not the kind that give you headaches and wrinkles and have sugared rims and chocolate syrup as ingredients.  These drinks are classics and one of the few things the US can truly call an invention of its own.

The best part about the Bitter Bar is the flexibility of the bartenders and their willingness to create.  I remember going in and saying I wanted a drink that was reminiscent of the movie American Psycho.  This request was not met with a laugh and a roll of the eyes, but rather with a thoughtful grin and an earnest attempt to accommodate.  And 9 times out of 10 the drink tastes exactly like my intention.

Just last night I was telling Emily how cool it would be to have a drink called “The Horcrux,” and what ingredients that would entail.  We thought dark and green and smoky, pretty Voldemort-y.  So this would mean maybe a good Islay Scotch or Mezcal for the smoke and Absinthe for the eerie green.  We went to the Bitter Bar, told Mark our idea, and he was immediately on board.  Instead of Absinthe, though, he used Sambuca, to give essentially the same flavor.  He did use Mezcal, but reflecting I think the Islay might have been better.  Still it didn’t look the way we thought it should.

So, here, dear reader, is the drink that I think should have been made:

1/2 oz. Black Sambuca

1/2 oz. Smoked Tea Liqueur, Qi Black is best

1 oz. Absinthe, mixed with 1/4 oz. chilled water to create signature cloudiness

2 oz. Islay Scotch

The scotch, black sambuca and tea liqueur should be shaken together and strained first, the absinthe should then be chilled and layered over the top by pouring slowly over the back of a spoon.  The density of the sambuca and tea liqueur should be enough to allow the absinthe to sit on top, thereby creating the eerie black and neon green.

Tags: , , , , , ,

I shared this with the Motley Fool and got some interesting replies.  I can’t really re-post this content here so I will just link to it.

More China posts to come.

I recently had the good fortune of getting an article syndicated by the Motley Fool.  You can check it out here.

Also, pine bitters are coming along nicely.  I was in Philadelphia this weekend and found a great spice store at the Italian Market.  I picked up some orange blossoms, hibiscus, dried rose petals and lavender and am looking forward to something floral.  Herbal and Floral, that’s what I’m all about.

A while back I had a cocktail that changed my life.  It challenged my core values and made me want to move to the woods and make art.  The drink was the Douglas Fir Gimlet, and I had it at the legendary Pegu Club in New York.  Since then, I have asked nearly every bartender (ahem, “mixologist,” or “cocktailian”) to make me something “pine-y.”  Unfortunately, I am often disappointed.  The flavor of the Douglas Fir Gimlet comes from Zirbenz Stone Pine Liqueur, which is nearly impossible to find.  Sometimes I find Fernet Branca to be a nice substitute, but the minty aftertaste still isn’t quite right.

I want to have a cocktail that re-creates the last flavor Sonny Bono must have had in his mouth… (too soon?)  That is, I want to feel the pine.  So, I decided to try my hand at a little bit of cocktail wizardry and create the flavor myself.  Since I don’t have a distillery in my house and I hear bathtub hooch has a tendency to explode, I decided the best route to take was to make a batch of pine bitters.

This is a very fortuitous time of year to want to make pine bitters, seeing as how I had an unused Christmas tree lying around.  I am using the whole twig with the leaves.  To that I added cedar wood chips and a sprig of rosemary.  I originally wanted to steep this in gin, given that its herbal and botanical properties would complement the other raw ingredients.  But, in the interest of not meddling with the pure pine flavor I am going for I decided a high-proof vodka might work better.  We’ll see.

And now I play the waiting game…

Tags: , ,

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.